Spoon Introduced To Show Me State

The advent of a new technology has breeched the mississippi river. Residents of Missouri are gathering near and far for demonstrations of the new culinary wonder "the spoon." Traditonally known in many cultures for ion, the utensil brightened the day of school boys who were given a demonstration of it's usefullness. "Hand to Mouth?" Not any more thank you.

Graduates Remain Unsure

Following graduation ceremonies at Crystal Lake Seminary, young men remained quiet and solitude. Prefering to remain unspoken on the subject of initiation rites that had taken place the previous weekend. The Hollier Than Thou Brotherhood stands behind the sanctifying methods past down through generations. "Some things definitely happened, but to tell you the truth, it all still seems a little hazey" one young fellowship member was quoted as saying. "I guess if it was for God, then it was alright, but I still feel kind of funny about it."