Integrity of Oceanographic Findings Questioned.

Recent findings by the scientific study group based at the north pole maybe compromised. Expedition leader Phineas Bottomouted was litterally "called out" on the floor of the Adventurers Endeavor Societys Annual Discloser Meeting and Fish Fry.

Several hours and nearly three half barrels into the meeting a lively discussion broke out on the ability of underwater photographic equipment. When one of the adventurers refuted claims by Professor Bottomouted regarding his ability to photograph his fabled meetings with Drucilla the queen of the mermaids.

"It's been along time since we had a Ruckus on the floor." said Gabby Gounder the clubs founder and discoverer of the largest sink hole in the Bahamas BananaVilla subdivision. "Were thinking of staging them in a garbage can lid and broom stick fight. Everybody go into the backyard. Hurry up."

Intense Business Ventures Painfully Negotiated.

I say I say Jaspur, I say Jaspur, Do you see that there bridge, see that there bridge there Jaspur?

Ya's I see that there bridge, that there bridge, that's the one, the one, that there bridge, I say, I say, I see that there bridge. A why do you ask me if I see that there Bridge?

Well it has come to pass, come to pass, that that there bridge, you see the one that there bridge, it has come to pass that it may be, just may be that that there bridge is one of my vast vast holdings. I said vast holdings.

On Thin Ice

The drowning of the North Manitoba Clubbers hockey team sent shockwaves through the quiet community of Mudslinger Flats. The new home of the local hockey club, the Tidewaters.

The newest of the expanding Nationalist Hockeyclub Hockeyplayer Amalgomation and BocceBall Union may be suffering from the strain of growth in their southern expansion league division. And lack of organization, which did nothing to console the now wet and frostbitten fans that were forced to recover most of the bodies.

The visiting team had gone into their warming hut when what sounded like an internal argument and fight ensued. Not knowing the strangers to their community and not wanting to be accused of eves dropping on a team meeting that might involve strategies, the locals and officials respectfully left the clubbers to their privacy. They had quieted down and ultimately were fifteen minutes late for the second period when we made the discovery."

"Around here you don't interrupt what may be a team prayer" said the official Merl Tukkas. It's just direspectful. And we don't claim to know all of the customs and rituals of the game at this point. It's usually played a little farther north than here so we figured we'd just kind of observe and pick it up as we went along."

"So far so good. That's a win, right?"

Author Accepting Any Forms Of Life To Participate.

You, fellow pedestrian, yes you, should feel obligated, Naa priviledged, at this juncture to participate by sending me a letter, a telegraph, a phone call or a smoke signal to reassure me that my public still breathes.

Oh for god sake, somebody comment on something. At this point I'm paying Preston Snavely III five dollars a night to hand out bills and notices on bourbon street. Is there a mirror site I don't know about?

Layoff Notices Remain A Mystery.

Illiterate Labor forces remain on the job as the notifications delivered go without comprehension. Guffuie Oinswaggo, shown here examining said notice, remains baffled by the document presented to him in late august. "Der Priest vas da reader wat was ours" the local labor leader was quoted as saying during the daily two minute break from the arduous work schedule demanded of laborers in the mountainous urainium mining community of Doinka KaDonqia. Government official Dubo Klunfuder, when notified of the stock piling of the radio active material said he was thinking of colorcoding the notices to ease the transition these workers are experiencing. "As the king has proscribed, we are transitioning from a manufactoring society to an observing oriented society.

Unemployment rates have climbed to a now almost stable plateau of 99.999,999% causing great anxiety in Mr. Klunfuder as he remains the countries last employee. After firing all others, Klunfuder has found himself avoiding passing any mirror in the capitol building for fear of confronting himself. I've been successful so far at avoiding myself, but I can see the writing on the wall.