Nearly two months after the disappearance of his family in remote appalachia, despondent husband and father Earlie Doodle has been recloose in reaction to his loss. In a rare interview, the unemployed Mr. Doodle stated that his family had up and left while he was a huntin. "She was a terrible cook and them kids just wouldn't shut up, but I loved her. (Expletive.) Speck they'll pop out [up] eventually.
That lazy sumbitch prolly didn't even cook 'em up! That shiftless bastard had done left a mess of the likes I ain't never seen before and hope to the good Lawd never sees again. I's just up there the other fortnight discussing our trot line we done hung acrost the crick last week. Why that low down skunk comes out dressed like that-me lookin' puny and foolish thinking it was dancin' and drinkin' night...I was upbraided rather sharply as to what this cross eyed fool was lippin' at me. He cain't find his young'uns or his turd cutter of a wife. Hmmm, I done reckoned he et them wonst I saw them puh-jammers he was stylin'. Like I said he's a sumbitch for not sharin'. submitted by JarvisPete Hootenholler, the crazy, l eyed sumbitch from acrost the damn holler
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